I had a similar issue when I installed mine. I too tested the relays and such but through the use of a multimeter found that one of the relays was getting power at times it shouldn't. The problem was with how my dad and I added those loose wires into the 13pin connector? (It's been awhile so don't remember exacts). One of us, I'll blame it on him, glanced at the diagram upside down for one of the wires and places it on the opposite side. As far as I can remember, that is the only place you can really screw this up. If it were wired correctly and it still didn't work it should be a little easier to troubleshoot. You can hear the relays click as the fog lights are turned on and the other when the high beams are turned on (I believe). Follow the power from the source and see where you lose it when the headlights are on and they should have power. I personally like using the multimeter on the continuity setting. This just tells you if what you are touching the two prongs to are connected by usually buzzing. Meaning if you put one of multimeter leads to either side of the relay, it shouldn't buzz but once you turn the headlights on and the relay is activated, those to wires you have the lead on should be connected and then it will buzz. Not all multimeters have this feature. Otherwise you'd have to set it to read volts dc and put one lead to a ground and the other to the point you want to test. It should read around 12volts everywhere there is power or less for whatever reason. Either way, I'd check that 13 pin connector first and look over the directions again for any places that could have been screwed up, like anything other than plugging in two wire clips.
On a side note, when I got mine, the led's in the switch were bad and nothing lit up. I replaced the on/off indicator led but left the backlight one alone because the color of light coming through was off and looked cheap next to all the other lights on the dash though it does come on randomly. The point is, even if your lights aren't on, you may still be getting power up there, it's just the leds. That's why it's pretty helpful to get used to trouble shooting with a multimeter.
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