ECM Chatroom

[Armyguy239]

He's 4 now turning 5....And asks for me all the time when im not there

[accordguy04]

Just took gf out for a driving lesson on how to drive stick.  Literally had to fight to get her to do it, and after all that... She did great!  Still needs to work on her clutch engagement, most pull outs feel like shes just yanking her foot off the clutch, but once shes goin, gear to gear is easy.  She drove around at her high school for a while and then got out on the road and all over town and back home.  Curbed my wheel while she was parkin it...   but its not too bad and its ok thats why I dont have rims. Lol

[Armyguy239]

great, just got a call from the ex's aunt....  Apparently her mom yelled and screamed at her, her family basically told her she was stupid for what she did, and how could she do that, and that she lost someone that was great to her, and truly did love her and her son, and that she would never find that again. Her son has been asking for me non stop, and wont stop crying for me. And she tried to commit suicide from the guilt she had, and the pain she has caused me and her son... these we're the msg's from her last night. She called me earlier today crying saying she needed to talk to me, I had told her I couldn't talk to her because I was busy..

[Mike]

Booger hmmm? On a serious note be careful dude.

[Armyguy239]

yea, not sure why she calls me that, she also calls her son that too sometimes...

[Nit3h4wk C0uP3]

Woah, suicide? This girl is pulling out every guilt card in the book. My sister did the same thing with her ex. This girl needs to see what it's like to be without you, and think about what happened and calm down. Good for you for saying you're busy. If you go back, it will show her that what she did was ok, and she'll do it again.....

[gargantula99]

^+1.

I really like Denny's comments here.  Chris, the both of you need time to calm down.  I don't know what else to say. 

[alpha]

He's 4 now turning 5....And asks for me all the time when im not there

It's going to be tough, but in my honest opinion, I would recommend that you stay away.  It'll be tough for you and him, but it's one of those situations where you have to be strong for the both of you.  The only hope you have is that her family sits him down and tells him that you won't be around anymore, and that it isn't his fault that you are gone; hopefully, they will let him know that adults have disagreements sometimes and that is why you aren't around as much.  It sounds like you have good ties with her family still; if you want, you can tell them that you really miss Jayden and to let him know that you miss him and that you are sorry you can't be around.  In my opinion, she is still his mom, so it's senseless to point blame, especially at his age.

At a minimum, I would recommend the same thing that other folks have already said.  Give it some time.  Give yourself some time to think about what you want in life, and if she still has a place in your life goals.  In my opinion, cheaters will always be cheaters.  But, that's only my opinion, and you have to do what is right for you.

[timot_one]

Chris, I'd listen to everyone else and stay away.  It's up to you to decide whether you want to cut all ties or try to repair the relationship.  At the very least, you may just want to tell her that you need time apart to figure things out and ask her politely to stop contacting you.  Make it clear that you will not respond to any of her calls or texts, and that if you do want to talk to her, that you will get a hold of her.

Just took gf out for a driving lesson on how to drive stick.  Literally had to fight to get her to do it, and after all that...

My wife gave me shit about learning how to drive a MT.  Always pestered me about it.  I knew that she'd have trouble with the pedal because with a stage 4 clutch and race master cylinder it was very stiff.  It got to the point that she kept bugging me and giving me a hard time, so I had her get in the driver's seat and asked her to push the clutch in.  She couldn't push the clutch pedal in. 

Hopefully when I get the super single in, the clutch won't be so heavy.

[Jeff Likes Bagels]

She couldn't push the clutch pedal in.

Wasn't there some joke about how you have to stand on your clutch to get it pushed in?   Maybe she's doing it wrong. 

[Nit3h4wk C0uP3]

I need to re-learn how to drive a MT..

[timot_one]

Nah, that was because Mike was blown away at my awesome driving skills. 

Anyway, I got rid of that race clutch master cylinder and replaced it with an EM1 clutch master cylinder.  I'm also on the fence about getting a Competition Clutch Super Single.  I may just keep my Stage 4 until I do my tranny upgrades this winter.

[Armyguy239]

Thanks guys, Her aunt has her son for now,she let me facetime with him for about 30 minutes.. He was crying for me, he was asking papi when are you coming home, i miss you papi... After I calmed him down, we talked about how today at school was for him, and how e made a new friend, and he played on the slides, and tht he wanted me to push him on the swings tomorrow.. Then I talked to her aunt again, and asked how deb was, and what exactly had happened. Her brother walked in on her crying in the corner, her face swollen from crying,  and she was emptying a bottle of tylenol into her mouth... He called the paramedics, ad it went from there.. This happened about 15 minutes after I had told her "politely" that I couldnt talk to her... Made me wish I did at least listen to what she had to say. I got the number to the hospital and called her. She started cryin as soon as she heard my voice, she told me she was sorry for what she did,  that she loves me, and she couldnt bear  knowing she caused me so much pain. I had every right to be pissed at her, and that she understands if I never want to talk to her again. I told her I dont hate her, just severly disappointed, and that she needed to rest and calm down, that WE both just needed our space, and that I needed time before i could really talk to her. And that her aunt would let me know when she got out hospital,  and that i would call her when I myself ha calmed down and had my mind cleared

[accordguy04]

@Jeff
When my buddy taught his gf how to drive stick on his Mustang GT she had to brace herself and pull on the steering wheel. Haha But shes 100 lbs soaking wet.

@Tim
The argument was that I needed to know that she can drive stick and she didnt want anything to happen to my "baby".  I feel a little bad because her mom and dad jumped on the bandwagon with me lol.  But I think its justifiable, because I really dont plan on getting an automatic car and if were gonna be together I need to know she can drive it. Lol  And as for it bein my "baby"... It is my baby, for now.  But its just a car and I'm sure I'm gonna have plenty other "baby"s in my life.  Cause im still a youngin

@Chris
Sorry man I've been puttin this off, guess I wasn't sure what to say.  But I'm sorry your goin thru all this.  It may be hard as hell but I'm thinkin best option would be to cut contact completely.  If you keep seein either of them its just gonna cause more pain and confusion.  Just my $0.02.  Keep your head up man.

[Mike]

Do what's best for you hear. It sounds rough but ignore everything but what makes you happy.